


Nobody Ever Robs Restaurants

by hottamale



Series: Pulp Fiction [1]
Category: Pulp Fiction (1994), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 05:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hottamale/pseuds/hottamale
Summary: You know what's easier than robbing a convenience store? A bank.  But you know what's easier than robbing a bank? A restaurant.





	Nobody Ever Robs Restaurants

Ochako tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear as she takes a sip of her coffee. She’s got a slight frown on her face as she looks around the roadside diner, slightly annoyed at the cacophony of noises that fills the place. It was neither empty nor full, but there were still enough people to make it somewhat loud.

She set the now empty cup back down on the table and turns to eye up her partner in crime. She’s about to open her mouth and start speaking, but is interrupted. “No, it’s too dangerous, too risky. I’m done with that shit.”

Ochako eyes her partner up skeptically. “Pumpkin, you said that the last time though. The same thing, every time: I’m through, too dangerous, never again.”

Tsuyu, Pumpkin, leans against the window beside her and pulls a leg up onto the booth seat. “I know I’m always saying it, but that’s because I’m always right, but-”

“-but you forget about it in a day or two.”

Tsuyu leans a bit forward, an elbow on the table. “-yeah, well the days of me forgetting are over and the days of me remembering have just begun.” She punctuates with her finger tapping onto the tabletop, her eyes never leaving Ochako’s.

Ochako cracks a smile, her eyes crinkling. “You know what you sound like when you go off like that?” Tsuyu tilts her head in question, a finger on her chin. Ochako’s smile turns into a smirk and it’s her turn to lean forward. “You sound like a frog, ribbit ribbit ribbit.”

“Honey Bunny, I thought you were going to tell me I sounded like a sensible woman.”

“Ribbit ribbit ribbit.”

Tsuyu sighs, though it’s mostly out of amusement. “Take what I said to heart, because it really is never going to happen again and you’ll never have to hear me croak about how I’m never going to do it again.”

“After tonight.”

“Correct. I’ve got all night to croak.” Their back and forth banter pauses as they stop to laugh, a smile on both of their faces.

Ochako can feel her cheeks heat up the longer her gaze lingers on her partner. They might not be living to most ideal life, but any life was fine with her as long as she got to spend it with her Pumpkin.

“Coffee?” A waitress walks up to the table, polite smile on her face.

Ochako nods in appreciation, her smile still in place. Tsuyu shakes her head and declines, she wasn’t in the mood for more coffee; too much coffee in the mornings never sat well with her stomach.

Tsuyu moves her leg off of the cushion and sits forward, ready to continue their conversation. She picks up her half eaten toast and takes a bite while Ochako pours a never ending stream of sugar into her coffee. Tsuyu belatedly wonders how it is her partner is able to drink her coffee with that absurd amount of sugar. She swallows her toast. “I’m just saying, the way things are going now, it’s taking the same risk as robbing a bank. Hell, robbing a bank is probably less of a risk than what we’ve been doing ‘till now. Federal banks aren’t obligated to fight back, they’re insured, so why would they?”

Ochako pours some cream into her cup and stirs, her interest in Tsuyu’s tangent increasing as she explains. “I heard about this guy who robbed a bank with nothing but a portable telephone. All he did was hand the teller the phone and his accomplice goes: ‘We’ve got this guy’s little girl, give us the money and we’ll let her go.’”

The coffee is too sweet, maybe she could have used a bit less sugar, but she drinks it anyway. “Did it work?”

Tsuyu nods, “Guy just walks into the bank with a phone, not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a damn phone and nobody did a thing about it.” She leans back in her seat and finishes off her toast. It baffled her how someone could rob a bank so cleanly, but in her mind it was honestly goals. She didn’t like having to hurt people if she could help it, all she wanted was the money. Day jobs were for regular people. She wasn’t a regular people. She had to get an income somehow.

“Did they hurt the little girl?” Ochako asks as she takes another sip of her coffee, her eyebrows screwed together in concern. Collateral damage was also something she’d rather avoid as well.

Tsuyu shook her head, “Probably wasn’t even a little girl to begin with. My point was that they robbed a bank with a telephone Honey Bunny, a telephone. That’s way less of a risk than what we get robbing liquor and convenience stores.”

The concern on Ochako’s face morphs into confusion and she sets her cup down, her hands splayed on the edge of the table as she leans towards Tsuyu. “You wanna rob banks?”

“Not saying I wanna rob banks, just saying that they’d be easier than liquor and convenience stores.”

“So no more liquor stores?”

“Yeah, no more liquor stores. They’re not easy anymore--too many foreign owners who don’t know english and are more than willing to put up a fight. We’d more than likely have to kill ‘em.”

Ochako shakes her head and frowns at the thought. “I’m not gonna kill anyone.”

Tsuyu nods in understanding. “I’m not either, and that’s my point. But they’ll probably put us in a situation where it’s either us or them. And if not them, then it’s these old families who’ve owned the store for like fifteen generations or something, just sitting behind the counter with a damn magnum. Try walking into a store like that with nothing but a telephone, see how far that gets you. Liquor stores are too hard these days and the payoff isn’t worth it anymore.”

“What else is there to do then Pumpkin? Day jobs?” Ochako’s nose scrunched up on reflex. Just the thought of getting a day job itched her the wrong way. She and Tsuyu wouldn’t be living this life if they had wanted to get day jobs.

Tsuyu laughed at her partner’s obvious distaste. “No, not in this life.” She appeased, her hands up in a calming manner.

“Well what then?”

“This place.”

Tsuyu almost laughed again as her partner’s eyebrows nearly melded into her hairline before coming right back down into confusion. But there was a sparkle in her eye, she was clearly interested in what she had to say. “Here? A coffee shop?” She pointed a finger down onto the table for emphasis.

“Why not?” Tsuyu chuckles silently to herself, eyes filling with mirth. “Think about it, nobody ever robs restaurants, why not? Bars, liquor and convenience stores, gas stations, you’ll get your head blasted trying one of those places. But, restaurants? They’re either not as expecting or not expecting to get robbed at all.”

Ochako’s smile is quick as the gears begin to turn in her head. It wasn’t a bad idea, in fact, it was an excellent idea. “I bet you could really cut down on the hero factor in places like this.”

Tsuyu replied with a smile of her own before continuing, “Exactly. These places are insured, like banks, so why should anyone give a shit? See, remember when we robbed that one store, and the customers just kept pouring in?” Ochako nods, her attention fixed solely on Tsuyu. “And you got the idea of taking their wallets? Brilliant.”

“Thank you.”

“We made more from the wallets than we did the register.”

“Yes we did.”

“A lot of people are coming to restaurants.”

“A lot of wallets.”

“Pretty smart, yeah?”

Ochako leans back a bit and scans her surroundings. There were still a healthy number of patrons in the diner, the earlier cacophony that had grated her ears now twisting into something akin to music. That was a lot of wallets.

She spies the tired waiters and waitresses taking orders and delivering food, the busboys collecting the dirty dishes and the manager complaining to the cook about something. It would be too easy to make off with a good lump of cash. She smiled at the thought. “Pretty smart.” She leans back towards Tsuyu. “I’m ready. Let’s do it, right here, right now.”

Tsuyu reaches down into the waistband of her pants and pulls out her .32 caliber and places it on the table, her gaze never leaving Ochako’s. “Let’s do it same as before. You’re crowd control, I’ll handle the employees.”

They both leaned forward to meet each other halfway for a quick, messy kiss. You never knew when these things could go wrong. “I love you Pumpkin.” Ochako spoke as they pulled away, an excited smile on her face.

“I love you too Honey Bunny.” Tsuyu’s expression mirrors her partners, and just for a moment, it’s only them. But they had a diner to rob and now wasn’t the time to be getting lost in each other. Tsuyu grabbed her gun off of the table and stood up in her seat, a single foot thumping onto the wobbly table loudly. “Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!”

Ochako quickly moved to grab her own gun out of her purse and whirled around and out of her seat. “Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!”

**Author's Note:**

> heyo *waves* I've come back from the dead to bring you a new movie fic muahaha... god I'm horrible
> 
> anyway! I'm not entirely sure if I'll be adding any original scenes to this fic, mostly because I just love the movie so much and partly because I don't even know what I could add to it? But who knows, maybe something will just come to me when writing ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I'll be posting this as different parts instead of making it a multi chapter fic. If you've seen the movie than you'll get where I'm coming from with that.
> 
> Also! This is a very long term project! This is going to take a very long time to finish, so just a heads up! On the upside though, the parts to this series can actually be read as stand alones, though all of the parts do connect to each other to make up one giant plot. 
> 
> but yeah, anyway, thanks for reading! see you all in the next part (;


End file.
